S2E29: Your Menstrual Cycle is Your Superpower

Audrey Gerber is an integrative health AND PMS coach AND FOUNDER OF SPOTLESS GIRL. SHE SHARES HER JOURNEY ON BECOMING A PMS COACH AND HOW WOMEN CAN EMPOWER THEMSELVES WITH THEIR MENSTRUAL CYCLE.

Guest Bio:
Audrey is an integrative health coach that helps women struggling with PMS and period issues to balance their hormones naturally and holistically. Her desire is to empower women in their feminine journey and connection to their body so they can live a radiant and energized life, at any moment of their cycle!

Website:
https://www.spotlessgirl.com/

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/audreygerber_/

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/audrey-gerber-19636495/

Spotless Girl Journal:
https://www.spotlessgirl.com/shop-resources/p/spotless-girl-30-day-journal

Maryann Samreth 0:00

Welcome to mental breakthrough, a mental health podcast about owning our most vulnerable stories. As a reminder, we are all human. I'm MaryAnn Samreth, trauma training coach, founder of sincerely Miss Mary and your host. This season I bring in healers, coaches, therapists and writers in the mental health and thought leadership space to share their stories of overcoming their shadows, to get to a place where the light shines again. These are trauma survivors, mental health advocates, spiritual guides, coaches, and first and foremost, human beings, reminding us to be softer and kinder to ourselves, so we can then meet others with the same compassion. The power and sharing our truths with the world gives permission for others to feel safe experiencing theirs. As a disclaimer, this podcast is not a replacement for trauma informed therapy. But as always, you can find mental health resources on my website at www that sincerely, Miss mary.com Hi, everyone, today's episode is what my dear friend Audrey Gerber. Audrey is an integrative health coach that helps women struggling with PMS and period issues to balance their hormones naturally and holistically. This episode is so powerful for anyone who's ever experienced period shame, or body shame. As a woman. I learned so many things from Audrey, my mind was blown. And it even encouraged me to get off the pill to get off birth control last September, it's a decision that I've been weighing on and after talking to Audrey, it kind of just reaffirmed my decision to to get off the pill. So yeah, it's a very educational episode about our bodies and birth control and just how we view ourselves. It's it's not our fault. If you have ever experienced shame around your body, your emotions, your cycle, it is absolutely not your fault. I highly, highly recommend Adri sturdy they journal to help you learn more about your body and your hormones. I've been doing it for almost 15 days now. It's really helped me just be aware of my emotions, and my cycle. I also have a very special announcement about a workshop me and Andrea are leading together. So if you like this episode, and you want to keep hanging out with us, please stay tuned to the end of the episode. There'll be a special code for anyone who wants to join. I hope you enjoy the Episode

Hi, everyone, welcome to Mental breakthrough podcast. Today's guests, we have my friend Andre Garver. So excited to have you. Audrey is a PMS and period coach. And we are both just lined in in our work and being trauma informed. And I can't wait for you guys to hear her story and how she came to be. And in her work. It's it's amazing, especially for women. It's like she does things that we all need to learn. So thanks for coming on. So tell me about how you got in how you got into your work. I don't know any other period and PMS coach. Yeah, we're

Audrey Gerber 3:35

not many knee. But yeah, it's actually I think it's a really great story. I everything for me started when I was a young teenager when I had my first period. It was awful. It was terrible. I was bleeding to the point of it was dangerous for my life. Really? And yeah. And so I went to the doctor and the doctor immediately put me on the pill, right? And he was like, oh, like, we you kids continue on bleeding like this, like we have to regulate your cycle. And then they gave me the pill gave me an explanation. And then they were like, Well, we'll see how it goes. And then obviously when it's okay, like I had this the cycle on the pill and everything was fine. And I just had it for multiple years and Lippa years, you know, teenage years are difficult. So my weight got up my self confidence got down like I was on myself for like really young age. Yeah. From like, 13 years old. I was. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it wasn't Yeah, it was it was really for the sake of having me regulate my cycle. And I at one point, I was like 17 and I had depression and you know, things like, little things are not so great for me

Maryann Samreth 4:51

to go through all that too. Yeah,

Audrey Gerber 4:53

exactly. And I didn't. I didn't want to tell people I didn't want to make it look because I was usually such a bubbly, joyful person I was like, there was a lot of shame. There's definitely a lot of shame of like, I'm not supposed I have everything going for me, Why am I feeling like this? What's going on? And I went to, you know, psychotherapist, I did a couple of things. And then I remember, you know, one morning I woke up, and I was about to take my bill. And I remember feeling so very strongly in my body, that if I take another one of these, I'm gonna throw it up. Wow. And I was like, yeah, actually, everything in me, I was like, I'm done and sick of taking this bill. So done in sick, I'm taking it. And then I did some research. And then I didn't tell anyone this because I was so scared that they were gonna force me to stay on the bill, you know, like 17 and on experience, and I had no idea how to be an advocate for myself. I was like, this, just, this is just what I have to do. So I researched and I discovered Yes, like, it can damage your fertility long term, and blah, blah. And it's like, best to keep it under five years. And I was like, Oh, I've gone over that already. So I stopped I cold turkey stopped. And then you know, a month later, my depression just went away. And I was like, huh,

Maryann Samreth 6:03

really? Fascinating,

Audrey Gerber 6:07

isn't it, I was like, this is a very interesting fact to notice. But I was still so I had no idea what was going on. I didn't understand my body, I had no clue. And I still had that like little shame of like, I did go through some depression with, you know, quote, unquote, no reason. So right. I didn't talk much about it. And then I knew that I didn't want to get back on the pill. But my cycle was something I was unfamiliar with. And I sort of struggling with like, heavy fatigue. And I was, you know, craving a lot of foods. I had like, mood swings, headaches, all the things. And I thought, this is the normal, this is the normal cycle. I've gotten from bleeding heavily. And now I'm in the normal cycle. And I just thought, okay, it's okay. It's alright, as long as my body's normal, then I'll be okay. And I went on with my life. And I went and studied abroad, and I did so many great things. And then one day, I came back home, and I dropped my luggage is and I was like, I can't do this anymore. My body's not following. I like I'm too tired for any of this, I can't even go and live the life that I want to live because my body's not following, and exhausted, and I feel sick in my body. So I give myself a year to like, kind of recover. I guess that's what I was going for. I wasn't really sure what I was doing. That got into like, nutrition and holistic healthcare and things like that. And things started to get better. And I was like, Oh, I'm seeing a difference. So I'm definitely going to start investigating and what the impact this has. And I took a class I started studying nutrition, and one of my teachers just briefly mentioned, she said, Oh, yes, and as you guys know, PMS symptoms are not normal are a sign of hormonal imbalance. And so nutrition is a great way to start balancing your hormones again. And then she moved on to the next topic. And I remember feeling so strong as like, Excuse me What?

Maryann Samreth 7:58

You keep going. This affects me.

Audrey Gerber 8:03

Over that, exactly. I was like, I have many questions on this. Sorry, hold on. And I took I could it was like a Friday, I took the entire weekend. All I did this weekend, was researching, reading books, listening to Pat, I like researched everything. And I was like, there's a whole new world of menstrual health. And I had no clue existed. And this could be centered all of my issues. And I started applying and it was so quick for me. Many would not believe how quickly things go back. Like, suddenly I woke up, I had a lot of energy. And then Oh, next day, I'm noticing I've lost a lot of weight. And then the next day, I'm like, I'm feeling really great this whole, like, month, and then what do I wake up and I have my period. And I'm like, I didn't see it coming. And just things started happening really, really quickly. And I was like, This is what was happening when I was a teenager. This is why I was bleeding so strongly. This is why the depression happened. This is why everything happened. And it suddenly made so much sense. And I was like I needed that information when I was a child. And I didn't have it. And I needed it when I was an adult and I didn't have it. And I was like I need to carry that information further.

Maryann Samreth 9:08

Yeah. So what were some of the things you were doing? And what were some of the things that you were doing when you were a teenager that was just regulating your period? Yeah.

Audrey Gerber 9:15

So, you know, basically, I think we can like find that the core of the balance was that I was living as if I had a 24 hour cycle brain cycle. So like you will you wake up, you get a lot of things done in the morning, you see more people in the afternoon, and you rest in the evening, and then redo redo, redo, redo. The problem with that is that we don't have a 24 hour brain cycle as a woman we have a 28 day. So it's as if that 24 hour has been spread out into 28 days. And so it has, there's really a change of structure in your brain like there's a 20% change of structure week by week, which is huge. And it means that my body my way of living had different needs. at different moments of the month, and I just ignored them, I fit all of my needs into this 24

Maryann Samreth 10:05

hour lifestyle, we tell that

Audrey Gerber 10:13

yes, we are, we totally are. And that's the great like, mind blowing. Reality is your brain is different. If I take a picture of your brain today, and I take a picture of your brain, next week, I'm going to have two different pictures. Because you're a menstruating woman. This means you have different abilities, you have different needs, you have different realities, week after week. And ignoring, you know, ignoring your body's needs, like your body will handle it for a couple of years. But after a while, your body's like, sorry, I just can't go on. Yeah. What happened with you? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So yeah, I think I can like, find that, oh, paying attention to my body's needs living as a woman, and that as a tiny men. Yeah, that made a huge difference.

Maryann Samreth 11:05

Like I said, tiny man.

Audrey Gerber 11:08

And I say that because, you know, until very recently, women were considered tiny men, like your body's the same as a man just like, a little bit smaller. Are you brain? You know, because if we look at just the size of the brain, the woman's brain is slightly smaller than a man's brain. So like, oh, it's the same. It's a little smaller. And now we No, no, no, no. There are two different different brands. Yes.

Maryann Samreth 11:32

Man's World? Oh, yeah. Wow. So what were some of the like, the things that you were doing? Like, like, what nutrition wise? Was it like your sleep cycle? Was it every aspect of your life that you were, you know, applying different changes to to regulate your menstrual cycle?

Audrey Gerber 11:49

Yeah, yes, I feel like, in reality, everything changed. But where I started, and I saw a lot of changes was in the way that I ate and ate differently at different times of the month. So I would eat more like cooked foods in my period and more raw foods in my ovulation. I would eat less, you know, less gluten around my ovulation, more gluten, the week before my period, it was like I would vary what I needed different types of vegetables, then, you know, after my period before a period, kind of different ways to do that. I also changed radically my way of exercising.

Maryann Samreth 12:28

Oh, interesting. Yeah. And I

Audrey Gerber 12:31

went from, I keep the more intense cardio based exercises for the week right after my period. And then as soon as I passed my ovulation, I'm moving to more gentle, like, stretches, or, you know, strength based exercises, and I, in my period, I, I just walk, that's the exercise that I do it as long as I don't, like I don't feel the need to move my body. And my body now will tell me, I needed to get up and walk or I needed to sit down and not move. And it's you know, it's usually spot on always right.

Maryann Samreth 13:04

Wow, I mean it you're basically like going with the flow of your, of your menstrual cycle. Can you kind of walk us through, like, what is happening within our bodies that we have to adjust from, like the energy levels to, you know, when we have to rest?

Audrey Gerber 13:26

Yes, absolutely. I think that the way that I like to describe it the best or that makes more sense. And people understand the best is look at your cycle as if you're going through the four seasons of the year. So if we start with a period, because that's the easiest like phase to locate kind of notice. It's your winter. And it's you know, in the winter, when you look at nature doesn't look like there's a lot going on. But you know that under the ground, there's a lot going on, and you know that you need more care in the winter, you need warmer foods, you need to use less energy, you need to protect your energy more, you need to sleep more, you know, like this is how you live life in winter. And this is what is happening in your body. during your period, you're in a winter phase. So you need more like Whole Foods That Will like stay in your stomach for long periods of time. And you need more sleep and you need worming like clothes and you need me to do less exercise and more like keeping your energy in. Because your body is actually detoxifying from all the hormones that have been like working really hard in your body in the past month. So this is your winter and then right after winter, we have spring and this is why so many women feel such a relief after their period. It's because their hormone levels are rising again. And that you know I was talking about the brain structure. We have a different structure that's more open that's more light up that's like curious and artsy and emotionally ready. Exactly. emotionally intelligent, ready to take on the world like, calm I'm here and they're ready for our social interactions. And so this is where you treat your body, the tree, the way you live in spring, you start eating more salads. And you know, you get out more and you go for longer walks, or you go for runs, and you meet up with friends. And you, you know, like, you have new ideas, you clean everything, you do these things. So screen, then you move to the ovulation, which is usually every woman's favorite time of the month, because they feel so radiant, because that's the moment where your hormones peak. And you don't need a lot of care, it's summer, you go out as you are. You you have, you have so much ease, talking to people enjoying your life having fun. having difficult conversations, we have a better ability to do them in our summer, because suddenly the communication with the outside world is so much easier. And then we shift into the fall where as you look at the fall, it kind of drops down and your hormone levels are dropping down. And this is the phase. This is the longest phase. And it's the phase right before your period. This is where most women experience imbalances. Because if the hormones Yeah, are going down, then obviously if the hormones are not at the right level, when they go down, your body's like what's going on. And there's a lot of issues like better that are rising up. So the fall is my favorite season, like my interface of the cycle. Because really in a nature it Yeah, it's such a nurturing and productive face. In my fall, my brain is on focus, I get to do so many things at once I am like down to work, and I'm doing it and it's I feel this peace inside of myself, right? I'm not like in a frenzy, as it would be in the spring where everything's happening inside. Like, I'm grounded, I feel centered, and I'm still producing a lot. So wonderful season and treated as you wouldn't fall. So you start getting more warm foods. And you know, like, you do less cardio, you do more like stretching and less seeing people and more, you know, talking to yourself, and then you get to the winter again. And you detoxify from all the hormones when they exit your body. And you replenish and you take care of yourself. And then you move on to the next season and so on and so on and so on. That's you make

Maryann Samreth 17:18

our period sound so beautiful, because it is

Audrey Gerber 17:22

periods are amazing. They're like a one hour.

Maryann Samreth 17:25

Yeah, they really are when we know how to use it. And and you know, go into each season understanding what's happening with our bodies and with our home hormones and what we need around each each season, it makes so much sense. So that is so cool. I I'm learning all this for the first time, and it's blowing my mind. How does birth control just like interrupt the seasons? How does what how does birth control like? Like, what is the cons of birth control? And you can go all out, you can check it out. I'm also I'm thinking of going off it so

Audrey Gerber 18:02

yeah. Okay, so I will say I'm gonna say a lot of negative things. But I will say, because of my experience, I don't have anything against women who are on the pill. It saved my life at one point. So I'm like, I understand that some women do on the bill. However, get off of it. As soon as

Maryann Samreth 18:23

I'm on here, it's been like 10 years for me. Yeah,

Audrey Gerber 18:27

yeah, exactly. And I think the problem with the pill, and I'm going to talk about like the effects on the body in a minute. But the problem of the bill is that we're just giving it like, oh, period, whatever hormones, whatever, take the pill. It's kind of like the quick fix the it's no other medication is called the pill. Why is it called? It's like, we have no idea what it actually does. What is this thing? It's like, the thing that fixes all hormones, or hormonal issues, and it's called a pill and we're like, Okay, I'm like, wait, hold on, like, tell me what this is. What does it do with my body? How long? Like, this is medication. The pill is medication. And the purpose is for you to get off of medication so that your body can do what it needs to do by itself. But because there's still a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of you know, fear of handling all the hormone stuff, which was considered hysteria for so long. And they were like, just, just whatever. Exactly, there's a lot of it's shameful to be put on the pills. It's kind of like ooh issues, oops, pill that will fix you, that will make you better. That'll fix you. You won't be as you know, problematic without the pill until we kind of like many women depend on the pill to feel better about themselves. And it's like, oh, this is where the trauma and the shame gets kind of hidden. So physically what happens is that the pill covers your cycle, so you don't have a cycle. When you're on the pill, it nullifies that cycle, which means your brain gets really confused. Because as your brain structure changes, it sends signals to your hormones and the hormones, they're like the tip of the iceberg. When there's a change, your hormones tell you, when there needs to be changed, your hormones tell you, they're like the thing that you see the most, and the NDK, what's happening underneath the water underneath your body. But when you block the access of that communication between your brain and your hormones, your body doesn't know how to handle it. So it goes on a fake cycle, because you don't want to die. Because you would die if you didn't have a cycle. Because yeah, like if you stop your brain, like from changing like.

The pill gets here to create a fake cycle in which you, you don't have your usual normal hormone fluctuations, but it tells your body everything's fine. And so on the long term, as you can imagine, the body gets really confused, doesn't know what's happening. And so you start to have a disconnection with your own body. They don't happen is you stop producing your own hormones. This is why it says that one of the consequences of the pill may be infertility, because once you get off the pill, your body now is like, Wait, am I supposed to produce something here? Like I didn't know I didn't for so long? What happens? And this is why so many women struggle when they quit the pill. And they're like, oh, I have so many problems. I need to get back on the pill. No, you're your body's recovering from being on the pill for so long. And it doesn't know what to do. It's as if you're back to being a teenager all the way again. Oh, wow. And your body's like, oh, we have to produce this this hormone when how much like what?

Maryann Samreth 21:41

Yeah,

Audrey Gerber 21:42

exactly. So the the, what the pill does is it basically blocks you from the natural flows, and everything about your health, basically, because your cycle is it's your fifth vital sign. So it regulates your metabolism, it regulates your immune system, it regulates your brain health, it regulates your digestion, it regulates your sleep patterns. So once you get caught and you get a fake cycle, all of these cycles are a little off. They're like, following this, this signal that is not really from the brain, but then it's from a medication. And so the body is literally what happens is you get disconnected from your own body.

Maryann Samreth 22:18

Holy shit.

Audrey Gerber 22:19

Mm hmm. It is very intense. It is very intense. And like I said, I'm not against people using because I think sometimes you have to, and especially if you didn't know, like, you don't know, this will happen to you take Yeah. But the reality is, it's good for your body to do its own regulation.

Maryann Samreth 22:35

Yeah, wow, that is mind blowing. I know, there's a lot of factors with autoimmune diseases, but it's birth control, like a factor in like, possibly like triggering an autoimmune disease, if like your whole entire body's like, not in a normal cycle, like it's a fake cycle.

Audrey Gerber 22:52

It could be, it's not the norm, because our bodies are miracles and our bodies, they do, like their whole purpose is to make you live and to make you live the correct way. So when there's something like that, such as the pill coming in and coming in cycle, your body will shift, like so much into protecting you. And so, if something goes wrong, yes, there is a chance for it to trigger an autoimmune disease, the most often your body will stop beforehand, and your body will like for me, I guess what happened? Your body rejects the pill, or at one point your body gets so used to the bill that it doesn't like the pill doesn't have as much effect. That's why sometimes women need to change change their bills, right, the brand that they're on, because their body's like, Okay, I'm seeing that this thing. I'm not liking it, and I need to protect you. So I'm going to get I'm going to start reacting against it. Wow. Yeah. So in some cases, yes. In some cases, it could trigger even cancer, if your body doesn't even know how to regulate its own hormone levels. Wow. But I am deeply, deeply grateful to be able to say, in a lot of cases, your buddy jumps in for you.

Maryann Samreth 23:58

I love that. I love that so much like I and let's get into talking about trauma and Cymatics, too, because like, that's what I mean, I'm starting to learn that this like I'm in the certification program, and I'm learning about how much our body is fighting for us just to survive all the time. So what happens when you have an experience of trauma, and it's dis regulating your nervous system and your menstrual cycle? How do you unblock those parts of the trauma that stuck in our bodies?

Audrey Gerber 24:30

Yeah, yeah. And that's, you know, that is such a deep, deep, deep, feminine topic. Because this solution is for you to allow your, your cycle to flow again. And whenever there's a trauma or something that happens, you basically have a block in the cycle. So usually, progesterone is the hormone that gets blocked the first and this is the hormone of security of well being of grounding. It's the hormone that makes you feel at peace with yourself and more Most women don't have enough progesterone in their bodies. But especially when you experience something very traumatic, your body doesn't want you to get pregnant, or it doesn't want you to, you know, your body. So prevents the production of progesterone and instance, produces adrenaline and cortisol, which are surviving hormones. And so you start producing a kind of shift from the well being to the surviving mode, right, which is a way that your body saves you and protects you and make sure that you're doing the right. The problem happens when it's after a while, because your body wasn't upgraded to be run by your survival hormones all day long, all night, long everything. So the solution is to get back into the natural flow of the cycle. But for you to get back into the natural flow of the cycle, you have to look at the cycle and face it, yeah, and look at all the bleeding and look at all the stretching and the changes in your body and embrace, while the differences that happen to you from week to week. And that's difficult changes are difficult to look at like to, you know, to, to notice that you're eating differently, is one thing to notice that you feeling completely differently is another thing, right. And that's where you need a bit of nurturing, realizing it's okay for me to feel different things at different moments, because there's a cycle that needs to get completed. And unless I finish this part of the cycle, I'm not moving on to the next. And so there's this parallel of like, the emotional cycle to the the menstrual cycle that happened together. And they, they basically make the other cycle happen. So it happens together, there's no separation your body, because of your menstrual cycle, your brain is able to go through different thought processes. Yeah, in order to face you know, the issues, the blockages in your menstrual cycle, you have to allow it to finish.

Maryann Samreth 26:49

Wow, just like that's, I mean, that's basically the healing process. Yeah, the wound and you allow yourself to feel what you need to feel because there's grieving that comes when you are healing those wounded parts of you. And you just have to allow it and give yourself the most love while you you know, move to the pain and and move through the pain without suffering. And it's there's Yeah, I'm just like, there's so much so much complex complexities, but within this process, and so much that goes with trauma and menstrual cycle that I'm just learning now. And it's it's so fascinating. I think the work you do is so beautiful and empowering women to embrace everything that we are because our bodies are so powerful, and they are fighting for us. And we live in a world where we are disembodied from, like, you know, ourselves.

Audrey Gerber 27:46

Yes, yes. Really? And, you know, I'm noticing women who say no, don't necessarily mean No, when they say yes. And they don't necessarily mean yes. And I'm like, this is the result of a huge disconnection from yourself. And I'm picturing, what would a world look like in which all women when they say no, it means no, when they say yes, it means yes. Like, how powerful would that be like to be able to own everything that you say, knowing that it comes from you're like, This? Is it this what I have to say, I will stand by it? I'll own it. I'll, this is what I have to say. We could avoid so much pain in this world, just by having that shift. But it comes from that reconnecting to who am I?

Maryann Samreth 28:29

Yeah. And who it was like, What is my body telling me? Because it's a big part of me and a lot of us just Yeah, I think there's so much shame that comes with being a woman when, if we just learn to love ourselves and embrace ourselves, it can really just set us free, like truly like Unblocker, like the the trauma from from our bodies.

Audrey Gerber 28:49

Yeah, totally. And it so happens that we cultivate the collective trauma around period, we will refer, you know, the period is like something grows. And, you know, I remember being in high school, and they would explain to us the cycle, and I remember very clearly one of my teacher trying to illustrate what's happening. She's like, you know, and then you're trying to get pregnant and then your body is disappointed because you didn't get pregnant, so it throws everything off, like and then you start bleeding. And I'm like, the imagery here is that my body's disappointed in me. Yeah. Baby. Boy, yeah. Yeah, I'm, it's like, the imagery here is that I meant for a baby. And if I don't have a baby, then I'm failing. And I'm like, my buddy doesn't like it. And no, I'm like, No way. Like your cycle is not here for you to get pregnant.

Maryann Samreth 29:39

I think that's why a lot of people probably think, right? Oh, you don't have a baby. So we're just gonna start, you know, having a war and you're

Audrey Gerber 29:47

exactly and it's like, how terrible is it that we promote this way of thinking that your body is going against you or that you are going against your body and you have this war? And it's, you know, we talk about the changes in the woman when they're young teenagers and like puberty and it's always negative words that we add to it. And it's always like, and you know, I have my first spirit T pad. It's kind of like this shameful like, Dude, that's terrible or like, I didn't have a breakup pad and I have to ask my girlfriend for pad. It's like, Oh, I feel so gross asking her and I'm so ashamed. It's like everything that's cultivated and we're like, it's okay for you to believe that like, it's normal. Very Okay, thing, it doesn't make you less of a human being your body's not disappointed in you like, that means there's a beautiful thing happening in your body. And you get to tap into that power.

Maryann Samreth 30:36

Yeah, I agree. There's a lot of collective trauma. I remember like, when I first got my period, I was embarrassed to buy tampons. And fads like what the hell? Yeah, they're there. What do you kind of hope for the world to what do you think will help women like feel less shame around their periods,

Audrey Gerber 30:59

then there's so many great things that could be happening. I honestly think the first step for us to have less shame is to kind of activate the sisterhood in this, because if the woman around you are presenting period as something that's not to be ashamed of, then you're less likely to do so. And if we activate the like, I see that you're going through some a huge change in your body. And it might seem scary, and you're seeing blood. And that's scary. That's okay, I'll be here for you. Like, if we can activate that, you know, I will be the girl that will always have pads for everyone if they need to, like, I don't mind, I will be open about it. And I create that safe space for other women to come. And like, if we have that, then the world will start to shift and follow that. Yeah. So I, you know, there's so many things that need to happen, I think institutions need to change in order to recognize that a period is an actual change in your body. And like, you shouldn't have to pay taxes on your pet. Like there's so many things that are like, free. It's not like I can live without them. Like unless you just want me to bleed through right, like,

Maryann Samreth 32:07

right, right? I

Audrey Gerber 32:08

think there needs to be like a huge change in the way that society is like, you need to hide your period. But also, like pay extra for hiding your period.

Maryann Samreth 32:20

tampon.

Audrey Gerber 32:22

Exactly. It's like, No, this is like a change that's going to happen every month for all the woman in the world. So how about we normalize it? How about we, you know, turn into like the most normal thing, and you can get pads of different colors with different designs on them so that the little girls don't feel like scared too big. All the commercials on pads and towels are like super sexual and super, like, you want to stay clean? And it's like, no, listen. It's not what a period is. You're just bleeding like this is the normal? So I think yes, there needs to be like huge institutional change. But I think it has to start with the way that we treat the other menstruating woman around us.

Maryann Samreth 33:07

Right. Right. Yeah, that's, that's a good point. And also, like, I feel like when we start to love ourselves to and embrace who we are, it's contagious. And we want other people to feel the same way. It's just like, I love my period, like, Hey, you You love your periods?

Audrey Gerber 33:22

Yeah, exactly. And, you know, the realities. My clients love to tell me about their periods. We love to talk about it. Why? Because they don't have the opportunity to do so much of that. Unless it's in a dark, you know, unless they want to complain together then yes, there's, there's always space to complain. But there's never a space to be like, I experienced this really fun thing during my period, or like, there's no really anyone to talk to. And my my realization is that my clients are like, Oh, I so want to talk about the beauty. I still want to talk about the magnificent aspect of my cycle. I don't have any buddy else to talk to about it. So we do want it we want to talk about it. Well, let me be open about it. So slips.

Maryann Samreth 34:08

I love that so much. Do you think women have like their cycles at the same time? Because I've like had times where I've like had my period with my friends and like is that supposed to happen?

Audrey Gerber 34:21

Yes, absolutely. And this is another great great part about a woman's body. Yeah, is you know how like, well you you've probably learned this because the stress response of fight flight freeze, like when you get a stress situation, your brain gets into automation mode, you don't get to choose and there's a there's an immediate response that is either you fight the stress you flight you go away or you know, like you freeze from the stress as a woman we have another part of our brain that gets activated in stress and that is the friend and tend. And we have that part that goes on automatic we don't choose it. stress happens and we want to connect with another girl. That's a part of our trauma response. That's a part of the stress response. And when we do that, the stress levels will go down. And this is why we have crazy statistics like women when they give birth, and they're surrounded by women. Yeah, the duration and the pain of the birth is reduced by 50%. Wow, yeah, this is why doulas and nurses are so vital. Yeah, when you give birth, if you can, literally, it's it's a physical response that you have to other woman being present in a moment of stress, danger, trauma. So wow, that also influences the way that we regulate, we have this inner biological ability to connect with another woman, and our bodies respond to this. So our cycles will match. If you live with a woman for a long period of time, or like you just you just start too much. Wow,

Maryann Samreth 35:59

that is so fascinating. When we have that friend and tending trauma response, are we like not disconnected from our bodies on or like what's happening physiologically? Like, is it the one response where we're like, we're still connected?

Audrey Gerber 36:11

Yes. Yes. Yeah. So what happens, it's a beautiful, beautiful, amazing response that basically activates the security hormones. So this is the response like, Okay, I'm in this is, I have so many. This is why, you know, when you feel like you have a bad day, and you call your friend, and you just like, talk about it, you feel better after that, ah, that's, that's what happened. It's, you have this huge response, and all your stress hormones are leveling up, and you're like this fight, please. And then there's another woman coming and then your stress response, like freezes, because this part of you connects with her. And then you start lowering the stress, like the adrenaline and cortisol levels, and you produce more progesterone.

Maryann Samreth 36:53

So like, your, your nervous system is activated, and then it neutralizes once you talk to another woman,

Audrey Gerber 36:59

exactly. Your parasympathetic nervous system. It's really wild. It is really, really, really, really wild.

Maryann Samreth 37:05

Wow, that's so fascinating. And I know that, you know, women were connected to the earth, because it's mother's mother earth, are as you know, I've heard that period cycles also are related to the moon does that? Do you know anything about that? And how like, that relates? And

Audrey Gerber 37:21

yeah, um, so there's, there's many different theories, or many different examples of that. But basically, the the main idea is that, you know, how the moon affects the waves? Yeah, in the cycle moon, the moon basically affects the cycles of nature, we have a lot of plants that you know, grow at night because of the effects on the moon. And the moon is one of those things that has a 28 day cycle to

Maryann Samreth 37:46

do that, but just putting everything connecting

Audrey Gerber 37:49

everything. Exactly. It's, it's crazy. It's beautiful. And so yes, if you want to push it to like the next level, you can try to match your cycle to the moon. And that will ensure that you stay regulated, a lot of women will see when their hormones get healthier, they automatically match them. And so they'll ovulate on the full moon and they have the period, you know, the other side, but a lot of women also don't, and they have healthy cycles. Because the moon stays regular no matter what, then it's not gonna be in control. Exactly. The moon doesn't have a stress response.

Exactly. So our bodies will shift way more than the moon. So up to a woman who will notice that other cycles not quite match to the moons. And there's nothing to worry if it's not like it just, it is normal to be matched to the moon, but it's also not dangerous not to be matched to them. Like it doesn't make but there's a possibility to get to the end cycle.

Maryann Samreth 38:56

That's so fascinating. I mean, I just I learned so much. This is just such a great topic. And I love the work that you do. So I have two final questions for you. What do you wish the world has more of? Oh,

Audrey Gerber 39:11

what a great, brilliant question. I wish the world had more self compassion. I wish we were taught from a very young age, that compassion is to start from within. And I feel like honestly, this would fix so many hormonal issues.

Maryann Samreth 39:30

Regulators microsuction for ourselves.

Audrey Gerber 39:33

Yeah, to be allowed to say it's going to be okay. I see that you're suffering and I'm here with you. i We're on the same team. Yeah, that would trigger so many beautiful responses of the body and ended up healing so many traumas and irregularities. So I think yeah, that was my answer.

Maryann Samreth 39:52

I love that. And I my final question is what advice do you have anyone on their healing journey?

Audrey Gerber 39:58

There is a soul much to be said, but I think I'm going to go with find another woman. And don't do that journey alone. Find yourself some support, if you can have a group a woman, even better, but don't, don't force yourself to go through the healing by yourself, especially now that you know that your body will do better if you connect to another woman, and especially on the days where you do not have that self compassion, to have someone else reflect that back to you. And having that compassion for you, when you couldn't have it for yourself, I think is really grounding and in, you know, can bring a lot of saving and healing. If you're drowning yourself to have someone like to take you by the hand and be like, No, it's okay. You're not drowning. I'm here. You're breathing. It's okay. Yeah, yeah. And it's,

Maryann Samreth 40:47

we go through that. Yeah,

Audrey Gerber 40:48

yeah. And it's not your fault. Like, it's too much. It's overwhelming. There's you when you're drowning, you don't have the ability to see what's really going on. So you at least need that person this guy be to be like, he'll actually have, you have footing like, you can touch the ground here. It's okay. And like, I know how to swim. It's gonna be okay. I'll get you. I got you.

Maryann Samreth 41:07

I got you.

Audrey Gerber 41:09

Back to the shore. Yeah, exactly. It's going to be fine. So I think that would be my advice. If you're on a healing journey, any kind of healing journey and you are a woman, find another one. If you're a man, find another man. Like why not? Like? You, we all benefit from having a friend.

Maryann Samreth 41:30

That's so beautiful. So how can my listeners follow you work with you? Where are you?

Audrey Gerber 41:35

Yeah, sure. And so you can find me on social media. Audrey Gerber is my handle. But you can also find me on my website, which I feel like is where you'll find most of the information, which is spotless girl calm. And then Currently I am working. And I have more space for one on one clients. So that's like the best. It's my most supportive way of working with me. But I'll be opening group programs fairly soon. And then I'm going to be offering resources also for people who are not quite ready to have the support but they still need to like kick game and resources and things like that. So you'll find all the information on my website spotless girl calm, and it's gonna be coming soon. But right now I am taking one of our

Maryann Samreth 42:16

clients. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I'll put all of her info in the show notes so you guys can work. What can work with her? And thank you so much for coming on Audrey.

Audrey Gerber 42:25

Thank you so much for having me. I always love working with you. You're amazing

Maryann Samreth 42:41

we all have a story to tell. I want to thank you for listening to Audrey's journey. I hope you enjoyed this episode mental breakthrough podcast. Please leave me a review and subscribe on Apple podcast and Spotify. You can work with Audrey at spotless girl.com and follow her Instagram at Audrey Gerber underscore that's AUD R EY G E R B E R underscore if you enjoyed this episode want to keep hanging out with us we created a workshop called Make your menstrual cycle your superpower. We are so excited to create this for you guys. It is happening on February 22 at 7pm Eastern time, we will be educating you even further on how to make your cycle work for you instead of against you. We are combining both of our forces my somatic trauma writing and Audrey's holistic PMS coaching. We are both somatic trauma informed and we'll be integrating EFT Somatic Experiencing ifs and somatic writing into this workshops you will feel empowered to show up to the world as your embodied balanced self. This is an event you don't want to miss the event link will be in the show notes and you can use code superpower for $10 off. We hope to see you there

Transcribed by https://otter.ai