How A BBQ Chef In Portugal Gave Me Permission To Quit
I have a habit of escaping when things get hard. At the end of December, I wanted to quit everything (besides my client work), from my podcast to Tiktok, to Instagram. I couldn't do it anymore.
And that’s exactly why I traveled to Portugal for a month and convinced my boyfriend to join half of my Eat/Pray/Love journey. I needed to remember what joy felt like within my work.
An experience came to fruition when my boyfriend and I went to a tiny hole-in-the-wall BBQ restaurant in Lisbon a friend recommended (Hi Carol!).
The place was secluded on the bottom of a busy street with dim lighting.
We walk into the restaurant half the size of my Upper East Side studio. An open kitchen with meats on meats sizzling on the grill. There is a glass display of 3 different salads, a giant basket of freshly cooked potato chips, and a serving bowl of freshly steamed garlic rice.
We look at the menu and the incredible option of a meat platter for 12 euros. This is too good to pass up.
We placed our order and sat down at 1 of the 2 tables in the restaurant. The owner wearing a long black chef’s hat warmly directed us to one of the tables, put down paper placements, and began working on our order.
“Sit down. Relax. Have a drink,” she says, mainly directed to me as my anxiety naturally peaked in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar faces.
We both sat down as I took in the surrounding. The aesthetic of the place was Asian tropical European. A handful of waving lucky cats was on the bookshelf, and near the door, an oversized face figure sandstone sculpture.
A cover of Olivia Rodridgo’s driver’s license comes on, bossa nova style. One of my favorite pandemic songs. I smile at my boyfriend as we hear the chef singing to the music. She was so happy, energetic, and alive as if to say to the world I have everything I need. Nothing more. I’m enough as I am.
She brings us the meat platter filled with perfectly crisp chicken wings, ribs, and sausages, drizzled with green sauce, along with a side bowl of glistening garlic rice.
We take a bite of the chicken, and it melts into our mouths. I close my eyes as the flavor triggers a surge of dopamine into my system.
I was going to be okay. I said to myself. Everything was going to be okay, and I could be here as I am. Enough as I am.
I open my eyes. I look at my boyfriend.
“I quit somatic wellness writing,” I tell him as if to claim my desire, “I only want to coach memoir writing using the somatic trauma writing framework.”
I love writing, and I love teaching writing and helping others build the courage to share their story.
But I had been sidetracked to coach relationships and dating when a few of my Tiktoks about my relationship went viral, leading to an influx of DMs from people who wanted dating advice.
Even though it didn’t feel aligned, I tried to answer as many as possible and even tried relationship coaching with a few clients.
Even though I was capable of giving dating advice, it triggered me, and it was time I let it go so I could focus on what brings me joy-writing.
Helping people write their stories and tap into their power of creativity.
Creativity is in my blood.
It’s why I was a fashion designer for 11 years—my love for creating something out of my imagination and chosen inspiration.
Creativity is magic, and mixing this with storytelling and owning our lived experiences can change the world.
This is the magic of memoir writing.
Because in the process, we go through a healing journey. An exploratory journey of building affirmation from our innate worthiness.
We’re enough as we were are, just like the BBQ chef in Portugal.
We hold the magic within us, and we just have to believe in it, so when we’re ready to share it with the world, we understand our stories are experiential gifts.
Gifts of courage.
And courage is contagious when we advocate for it.
Advocate for your courage.
Advocate for your creation.
Advocate for your stories and embrace the journey of being the author of your life.
I hope you enjoyed this story. There will be more healing stories coming weekly, insight into my personal memoir writing process, along with new offerings for individual memoir coaching sessions and details on my upcoming group coaching memoir program.
Stay tuned and keep writing!
Sincerely,
Mary
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