I Want To Talk About The Stigma of Suicide

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at a poetry mic and author reading at the Chicago Poetry Center, an infamous center that has helped thousands of poets publish and market their books globally.

Once a month, published poets from all over the world give readings of their most famous poems. Before the reading, there is a special open mic dedicated to local poets of Chicago. Five lucky poets are selected from a bucket drawing to share a poem with this special community. My hands are glued to my phone, anticipating whether or not my name will be picked from the bucket.

Moments before the bucket draw, I’m sitting in the writing workshop room with one of my friends, debating whether or not to put my name in and share a poem I wrote 4 years ago about the stigma of suicide.

“I wrote this rage-filled poem in response to an ex-co-worker who unfollowed my Instagram after I shared my suicide story driven from a toxic workplace we both endured,” I tell him.

I may have overdone it by sharing this spoken word poem on my TikTok and calling out that co-worker, but 2020 was an awakening of channeling my authentic self and exploring the power of my voice. I was passionate about destigmatizing suicide and mental health if it made people uncomfortable.

Now, in 2024, therapy is normalized, mental health resources are increasing, trauma is a word people are no longer afraid of, and we are all beginning to understand the importance of emotional health, especially when it comes to building our careers.

I felt called to share this suicide poem again because I have been invited to speak at the University of Wisconsin for a second time and with a much bigger audience. This time, I'll be speaking to 250-500 undergraduate college students about building emotional resiliency in their careers.

I will be sharing my experience rising to the top in my 9-year fashion career as a designer for Coach, Marc Jacobs, Tory Burch, and Tommy Hilfiger, all by the time I was 27 years old, through the lens of emotional resiliency.

This path was not linear. It was filled with layoff and layoff, abusive bosses, toxic work environments, and my inability to navigate it all because I had yet to build emotional skills to set boundaries, advocate for myself, and seek mental health support, leading me to a suicide attempt at 26 years old.

Getting out of this emotionally numbing season of my life took a lot of therapy, mental health support, and the powerful tool of writing for emotional processing. It led me to create the Write & Release method in 2021 and share my journey of building emotional resiliency with millions of people across all social media platforms under my coaching business, Sincerely Miss Mary.

But was I ready to share my suicide story (with a trigger warning, of course) with college students? I wasn’t sure if I dared to share this visceral part of my story with young adults.

And sometimes, life pushes courage on you, even if you’re not ready.

“Our next poet is…” The host reached her hand in the bucket and began searching for a name.

“Mary Kethya Khuon!” she shouted.

I jump out of my seat and nervously walk toward the mic in the center of the room.

I get out my phone and swipe to the poem I wrote 4 years ago. My sweaty hands grip the mic, and I begin:

“I want to talk about suicide

When you turn a blind eye to someone’s mental illness story
You keep the stigma alive
You keep the symptoms of depression alive
The symptom of untreated depression leads to suicide

Your discomfort with mental health
perpetuates a cycle of silence within a society

You see it as “not your problem”
until one day, it may become your problem

You see, the system we live in
makes people struggling to feel unsafe

When they already feel unsafe within their minds and bodies

I want to talk about suicide

Because I am a survivor of being a victim of my mind

I want to address the mindset
That keeps this stigma alive
Because you can’t fix a problem

If you refuse to look at it”

The crowd erupts into cheers and applause shaking the entire room. I exhale relief, feeling a renewed sense of courage. The unwavering support of the audience about the topic of suicide was my reminder that the world was ready for me to share my suicide story, and I was safe to do so (with appropriate trigger warnings) to the next generation of leaders at the University of Wisconsin Madison.

My job as a speaker, educator, and professional somatic coach is to prepare the next generation of leaders for potential burnout, stress, and adversities in their careers. The best way I can do this is by shedding light on one of the darkest experiences in my life and how I was able to overcome it with the right support system. It’s crucial this generation understand that it’s okay to change paths, walk away, set boundaries, and, most importantly, ask for help when faced with feelings of suicide.

Truth is the essence of authenticity.

It is the essence of building a relationship with yourself where no external factors can alter how you see yourself.

Truth is the foundation of building emotional resiliency, and the best way to lead others through this process is to allow others to witness your vulnerability.

I’ll be giving this workshop next week, and I can’t wait to update you all on how it goes!

It’s been a dream of mine to speak to young adults about the importance of emotional resiliency in their careers, and I can’t wait to have more opportunities to do this work. If you're interested in booking me to speak at your school or organization, check out Write & Release here.

Sincerely,

Mary

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