The Worst Things to Say to Those Going Through a Breakup
I could name a million dismissive things said to me after my tumultuous breakup with my toxic partner of 5 years.
OMG, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
Just move on and let him go.
So, are you dating again?
*Silence, runs away*
Awwwwww. I’m so sad for you.
Good thing you didn’t marry him!
WOOF. All of these things are incredibly dismissive to one’s breakup, separation, or divorce.
We do not know how to handle someone’s heartbreak without projecting our fears of being alone.
Rejection, breakups, divorce are fears of many. Those fears are valid, and I don’t wish that on anyone.
But I think it’s time we learn how to uplift someone post-breakup.
These 3 phrases, said to me by very wise, empathic, compassionate women who have also been through the wringer, helped me change my breakup’s narrative that better things were coming.
Now you can dream again.
Congratulations on your breakup.
*Silence, active listening*
The truth bomb story about breakups is that they are often a catalyst to growth and self-awareness.
They are part of the process of transformation of unrooting what wasn’t working for you and rebuilding a new foundation of new beliefs, values, and a healthy attachment to yourself.
Because when you have yourself, you can handle anything.
I hope these facts help you be there for someone who may need you to hold space for them or, if you are going through this right now, finding people who hold space for you.
The best medicine for heartbreak is merely listening, validating their pain by being present with them and not rush them into the future of feeling better.
Of course, we want our friends and family to heal post-breakup, but no one can heal their hearts for them. Only them, but what they probably would love is someone to hold their hand as they heal.
Sincerely,
Mary
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