How My First NYC Poetry Open Mic Really Went

I almost threw up on stage at my first poetry open mic in NYC.

I had this burning desire to read my poetry out loud after staying hidden behind an anonymous Instagram account for over a year.

I had a secret life of writing poetry at night while designing handbags at Tommy Hilfiger during the day…and this voice inside me was getting louder and louder to share my words on stage.

So an hour before an open poetry mic held at the NYC Bowery Poetry Club, I decided I had to go or it would never happen.

I arrived at the club, and before I signed my name on the mic list, the MC said, “List is full, you won’t have a chance to go up tonight but you can sign your name anyways if there are no shows.”

Discouraged and relieved, I signed my name, got a glass of red wine, and quietly sipped on my drink as I watched one poet perform after another.

These people were amazing…talented…and have clearly done this before.

Who am I to be here and read my poetry when these performers have been doing this for years?

I began telling myself I wasn’t performing today. The list was long, and I had already been here for 2 hours.

I can lie in comfort with my imposter syndrome and wait until I feel ready next week.

The MC shouts a name, “And the last performer is Ashley!”

Well, I guess I’m not performing today, and I chug the rest of my wine, feeling a little tipsy.

There was a long pause and silence as Ashley was nowhere to be found.

“Ashley doesn’t seem to be here, so I would love to invite our final poet, Sincerely Miss Mary,” Announced the MC.

😱Holy sh*t.

I was mentally un-preparing for this moment, and now it’s happening.

I am shaking as I walk on stage.

I look into the audience with all eyes on me, the only poet to have used a pen name.

I feel my wine I just chugged, traveling from my stomach up to my mouth…oh my god…

I’m going to throw up…on this stage…Instead, words came out…poetry…

And the fire inside me as I shared rhythmic words about heartbreak, loss, and the journey of discovering my true soulmate was my unbreakable bond with courage.

I have an unbreakable bond with courage by building a relationship with it which allows me to be vulnerable on social media, Tiktok, published articles, and soon my memoir.

By listening to the voice inside you telling you to speak your truths and share your story, you honor yourself.

Sincerely,

Mary

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