How To Build Safe Relationships
“You created the safe relationships in your life,” my friend said to me at dinner the other night.
Although I knew I had done this cognitively, hearing her say that made me feel it down to my bones, the life I have recreated for myself.
One that was authentic, honest, and true.
Not just through my romantic relationship but also through friendships and within my connections through my business.
Everything is now safe in my life because I can quickly discern who is for me and who isn’t.
Although setting boundaries is an ever-evolving practice, I now tolerate the guilt and discomfort that comes with giving myself peace in the absence of those who attempt to disturb it.
Safety is around me because it started with building safety within me.
As a trauma survivor, it took me years of therapy, somatic healing, and trauma therapy to get to a place where I could feel safe integrating myself into the world to date again, make new friends, and create a heart-centered business.
I would not exist the way I do unapologetically without my somatic writing process helping me process and integrate what I’ve learned in my healing journey.
Writing in my journal every day for the past four years has allowed me to create what is possible for myself.
It allowed me to manifest a relationship with a partner who makes me feel seen.
It gave me the courage to put myself out there to make new female friendships after breaking up with 4 best friends the past two years. Friends whose wedding I stood in.
It gave me the affirmation I needed to walk away from an 11-year fashion career and into uncertainty because I would always be okay as long as I had myself.
Writing is my companion.
Writing is my best friend.
Writing was a gift given to me when all I saw was hopelessness.
It gave me the courage to look at the darkest, most shameful parts of myself and give it my love.
I believe the world would be a more compassionate place with a wellness writing practice.
It is a tangible place for all of us to spill our truths and not be afraid of it, rather lean into our truths and maybe for the first time, put ourselves first, and continue to do so until we embody the safety we deserve.
Sincerely,
Mary
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