The Hardest Part About Being In A Healthy Relationship

The hardest part about being in a healthy relationship is not loving my partner.

It’s receiving his love.

It’s trusting his love is safe enough to receive.

Loving him was easy.

It was always easy for me to love my romantic partners, even when many didn’t deserve it. I had always been able to love unconditionally and fiercely.

However, love works both ways, and to receive a love I can trust is safe, secure, and true has been terrifying for me.

And I didn’t realize this until I began writing my partner letters every day to stop me from self-sabotaging the relationship.

In my letters, I was unhinged. I wrote to him about my insecurities, fears of abandonment, and even breakup letters wanting to leave the relationship because I didn’t feel “healed” enough to be with him.

These breakup letters were from the parts of my body wounded by previous abusive relationships.

These parts of my body spoke its fear and eventually, self-sabotaging thoughts. These parts needed attention, recognition, and validation.

So after seeing my wounded parts in writing, I acknowledged its wound in my body and gave it love, acceptance, and compassion.

The power of somatic wellness writing gives us the tools to build a relationship with all parts of ourselves, especially the ones we tend to shame or turn away from.

If we lean into these scared parts of us, we can set them free.

Sincerely,

Mary

For more stories and updates on Mary’s work, subscribe to her Newsletter here