I'm Writing My Memoir, A Memoir Of Meeting A Literary Agent
“But Lary...I have to warn you, the other half of my story...my childhood trauma..it’s even darker than what everyone already knows about me,” I said to an old white Jewish man, a literary agent, after sharing my breakthrough story, I have told a million times.
The story is season 1 of Mental Breakthrough Podcast about breaking a cycle of abusive relationships, reconnecting with my Cambodian heritage, and healing generational trauma.
I had grown a platform with this trauma story of escaping my abuser, healing from the trauma he caused me, and going on a year-long adventure of falling in love with myself and my solitude. Everyone knows this story, but no one knows the other half of what led me to fall into a repeated cycle of mastering my trauma.
Mastering your trauma in psychological terms means reenacting unprocessed events in your life. This happens at an unconscious level when we have experienced complex trauma.
At 22 years old, I had moved to NYC, believing the past was behind me. However, it haunted me everywhere. These monsters showed up repeatedly as female leaders in the fashion industry, romantic partners, and female friendships, all with one mission to dim my light, control my self-perception, and take my power away.
A familiar scenario of my childhood repeating over and over again until I woke up in 2019.
Now over two years later...I’m on the phone with a literary agent interested in my work and my story...my full story.
How did I meet this literary agent?
A woman who read my recent interview with Walking In Other People's Shoes (Thank you Ellie!) loved my story and connected me with her publisher.
Lary’s path to becoming a literary agent was a surprise to him as much as it was to me. I went into this phone call not knowing what to expect. He graciously walked me through the entire publishing and querying process. Lary has been in the publishing world for over 30 years. He knows the ins and outs of the publishing industry down to the nitty-gritty of how this world is filled with rejection, and the luck of getting a book deal is a kind human heart believing in your story.
“I’m an old white Jewish man, and I’ve already had my voice heard. Now it’s time for me to amplify the voice of others,” he said.
He was kind enough to walk me through a book proposal and what exactly I needed to send him. If my work is aligned with him, he’ll be my agent.
This meant I needed to send him my full story, and I wasn’t sure I was ready until these next words.
“You don’t have to be afraid because I already know the ending of your story-you survived, ” said Lary.
It was the affirmation I knew the universe sent to let me know it would protect me as I write my memoir. The universe will send me the right people, places, and timing to take on what I've been dreaming of as a writer, publish my book.
I am now writing my full story.
A story about child abuse.
A story about mastering trauma.
A story about surviving.
A story about facing ghosts of the past and setting them free with acceptance, love, and compassion.
Please send me energetic love, support, and virtual hugs as I take on this endeavor! It's already happening.
Grateful for all of you following me on this journey and allowing me to guide you through yours!
Sincerely,
Mary
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